Anyone good with headlines

Thu Dec 02, 2004 6:46 pm

I am new to writing sales copy for websites and I am looking for feedback on three headlines/subheads I?m considering. Any of these make you want to find out more? Which one would you use for a viral marketing tool?

1. Headline: "The Good Old Days Of Easy Sales On The Internet Are Over?"
Subhead: Unless You Effectively Use The Only Two Marketing Methods That Have NEVER FAILED Since The Start Of The Internet!

2. Headline: Discover A Revolutionary New Way To Effectively Use The Only Two Marketing Methods That Have NEVER FAILED Since The Start Of The Internet!
Subhead: Find Out Why 95% Of What You Have Learned About Internet Marketing Is No Longer Effective!

3. Headline: Drive So Much Traffic To Your Website Its Server Goes Into Meltdown And Your Hosting Provider Begs You To Stop Marketing. But Even If You Wanted To, You Can?t.
Subhead: Stop Using Outdated Marketing Methods And Discover A Revolutionary New Way To Use The Only Two Marketing Methods That Have NEVER FAILED Since The Start Of The Internet.

4. Headline: Wish Your Marketing Message Would Spread As Quickly As A Cold Virus In A Room Full Of Snot-Nosed Kids?
Subhead: Stop Using Outdated Marketing Methods And Discover How To Spread Your Marketing Message Easily, Rapidly, and Cheaply.
timbrux
 
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Re: Anyone good with headlines

Fri Dec 03, 2004 12:38 pm

timbrux wrote:I am new to writing sales copy for websites and I am looking for feedback on three headlines/subheads I?m considering. Any of these make you want to find out more? Which one would you use for a viral marketing tool?

Why are you asking us to analyse what we think we'd like, when you can easily split test what we'll really react to best?

I suggest you put the three main headlines as clickable links in your sig, and compare clickthrough rates. If you want to take it further, you can make the landing page a set of different clickable subheadings, which all lead to the final content page.

If you still want some analysis... :wink:

Headlines 1-3 read as hype, so they'll probably do well with the work at home / make money brigade. (Sad but true.)

I strongly dislike headline 4. It certainly conjures up a vivid image, but there is not a chance in hell I'd click it. (Maybe that's just me.)

Hope this helps,
Charlie.
Charlie
 
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Sat Dec 04, 2004 3:05 am

Testing sounds an excellent idea to me.

You could test a shorter, punchier version, which includes "you", a very powerful word, and asks a question...

Are You Using the Only Two Internet Marketing Methods That Have NEVER FAILED?

I think that would make me curious enough to click.
AllanGardyne
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Sun Dec 05, 2004 9:12 pm

Tibrux,

Here's another angle you can consider if you want.

What would _you_ like to read if you were the reader/prospective buyer?

When you go to somebody else's sales page, and find this kind of sales copy, how do you experience it?

Do you personally have an interest in reading long capitalized headlines full of mysterious questions that don't really tell you anything?

Do you actually read these kind of headlines, or do you skim ahead looking for more specific information?

If you want a fresh perspective on this to keep your creativity moving, forget about everybody else and how you can get them to do this or that for a bit, and write the sales page YOU would like read.

Best of luck!
Phil Tanny
 
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Sat Dec 11, 2004 2:06 pm

I'd recommend you find a copy of "The Robert Collier Letter Book." It was written looooong before the internet was created (it discusses writing successful mail-order sales copy) but it is still relevant today.

I recently picked up a copy and have only read the first few chapters, but so far I find it well worth the money.

mike
mike929
 
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Re: Anyone good with headlines

Fri Jan 21, 2005 10:39 am

Charlie wrote:I suggest you put the three main headlines as clickable links in your sig, and compare clickthrough rates. If you want to take it further, you can make the landing page a set of different clickable subheadings, which all lead to the final content page.


Charlie

Excellent post. Simple. Yet very effective. You should charge for that kind of advise :)
mattieboy
 
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Re: Anyone good with headlines

Fri Jan 21, 2005 2:28 pm

mattieboy wrote:Excellent post. Simple. Yet very effective.

Glad you like it. :-)

It's an old idea, but not many people do it.

Actually, I usually prefer more cryptic, round the houses type posts, but, in all honesty, I think these short sharp posts probably get the message across better, whatever my writing preference.

It comes back down to whether the real value is in an "answer" or a style that shakes out your own answer...

Communication styles and persuasion techniques are almost as fascinating for me as affiliate marketing. :wink:

Just a thought,
Charlie.
Charlie
 
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