Could use a little help with my copy

Tue Mar 30, 2010 11:17 am

Hi folks,

My site I'm submitting for review is based around a template provided by an affiliate marketing program, but in the interests of uniqueness I have completely re-written all of the copy and changed some of the code.

I'm getting quite a bit of traffic but it's not converting as well as it perhaps should.

Please take a look at the copy and be brutal; all criticism is welcome!

Cheers.

http://www.pure-herbal-power.com
Big Joe
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2010 10:05 am

Tue Mar 30, 2010 11:51 am

Hello again, Joe

I would move the big block about yourself (or the herbal company) down. You take up almost all the place above the fold with this, and sorry to be the one to tell you, but people don't care about you.

They care about themselves.

So move up your products, and focus on how they can help your customer.

That's my - how do you say it? tu-pence?
BrittMalka
 
Posts: 100
Joined: Sun Mar 28, 2010 2:55 pm
Location: France

Tue Mar 30, 2010 12:18 pm

Cool cheers for the suggestion BrittMalka, I'll try swapping the two panels on the hompage around and perhaps putting a smaller banner in the header area to bring more of the page above the fold - the banner was provided as-is by the affiliate company, and I don't have the necessary photoshop skills to make one myself.

Trouble is, most of my visitors go to the pages of the products they're interested in rather than sticking around on the front page - it's the product copy that isn't converting as well I'd like.
Big Joe
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2010 10:05 am

Tue Mar 30, 2010 12:27 pm

Okay, I didn't know how much influence you had on the product copy.

Focus on dreams and benefits.

Start out with a phrase like: How would you like to wake up every morning with a... (fill in the blank yourself) ;-)

Then tell what the product does, and tell people WHY that is so great. Don't let them figure it out themselves. Spell it out for them.
BrittMalka
 
Posts: 100
Joined: Sun Mar 28, 2010 2:55 pm
Location: France

Sat Sep 04, 2010 2:11 pm

You have to get into the mind of a customer, and ask yourself if you were that customer how would you write the copy to entice even you to buy it?
dagaul101
 
Posts: 30
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2010 2:34 pm

Sat Jan 29, 2011 7:34 pm

Have to think of the mindset of a potential buyer, as it is on landing on the page, there is nothing that immediately tells me why I need the product, instead there is best selling products
wahjobs
 
Posts: 24
Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:21 pm

Sat Feb 26, 2011 3:22 pm

You need to be unique in seeling herbal products as they are a dime a dozen, you need to think as the customer to effectively communicate to them
wahjobs
 
Posts: 24
Joined: Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:21 pm

Sat Jan 05, 2013 4:33 am

In my opinion you need to analysis you customer behavior by that you can get a handsome amount of traffic and also conversion.
hmherbs11
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Jan 05, 2013 4:19 am

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